When I was a kid I was fortunate enough to have 4 living grandparents. At the time, I didn’t know how fortunate I was. My father’s parents had children the same age as my mother’s parents, so they had lived through two generations worth by the time I was born. I was so lucky growing up to have my grandparents. They were a haven from some of the bad parts of my childhood. They were two people that I knew I could count on to take care of me and love me. Because I had such an important relationship with my grandparents, it’s very important to me that my children have the opportunity to have their grandparents in their lives. My father has been on the brink, teetering between this world and the next on a few different occasions. It’s a scary realization that my children may lose a grandfather sooner than later.
I had the opportunity to talk to a friend’s mother who is in a similar boat as my father. She is young, much too young to have to face the end of her life, but she is facing it none-the-less. Just like my father, she has chosen to do what she can to battle cancer and give her family more time. She has grandchildren and future grandchildren that deserve a grandmother who loves them and so she chooses to fight. I can’t pretend to know how or why her decisions are made, or what she is about to face, but I do relate to the emotion and love that makes a person choose to live for others.
Until I witnessed my dad’s journey I would have said people fight for their lives and their futures, but now I know, they fight for their children and grandchildren. Cancer is so scary, and the treatment is even scarier. Knowing that there will be so many more bad days then good ones, that no matter what the results you can’t come out the same, that treatment doesn’t bring a cure or an end, and still facing what is to come is completely selfless. I can’t even express how thankful I am that my father has given my children more time. He has kept himself going long enough to watch my baby girl grow up; take her to baseball games and walks to the park. He has been able to be there for my son when he needs sword fighting partner, or a horse to carry him around the living room.
Even though for every 1 good day there have been hundreds of bad days, I wouldn’t give up a single one of them. Even though my kids have spent more time in a hospital waiting room then most adults I know, I wouldn’t trade a single minute of it. Even though I know my dad might like to come to a place of rest, I wouldn’t give up a single bad day if it meant we missed out on one of the good ones. It’s selfish of me – I know, and my kids might not need a grandfather the way that I did, but they deserve one. I know my dad hasn’t done it for himself and I am forever grateful for that.
